All of us, and maybe those who are cisgender partners to transgender folk more than others, must pay attention to our own needs. As with putting on our oxygen mask first, before helping someone beside us, we should insure we maintain our own mental and physical health.
Our job is not easy. We have a myriad of the usual household and relationship issues to manage. Attached to these are the learning processes that accompany a transformation in our significant other’s gender identity. Then there are the political issues that are never far from mind.
Many of us are dealing with surgical procedures our partners elect to undergo. Again, more learning and the challenges of post operative care.
In the middle of all of this it’s easy to forget our personal needs. Our partners are busy as well. They may forgot that we also require attention or to ask if we would like time for ourselves.
I’ve come to a point where I’m trying to pay attention to my own advice.
For me, my writing is important. This blog is one of my writing projects, but not the only one. As some of you may know I started writing murder mysteries long before Marcie came out. Devoting time to my book is important for my self-care. This is a space where I don’t need to think about Marcie or trans related issues, just how I’m going to hide from the reader the identity of the killer.
In pursuit of this goal, from the 25th to the 29th of last month, I attended a four day writer’s retreat in Michigan. Three beginning writers, myself included, were hosted by a published and well known author in her home on a lake. We were joined by a second published author. Our mornings were spent in silent writing, walking, and/or internal reflection, our afternoons in learning from these two masters. I returned home with new thoughts and the motivation to push ahead toward publication of my book.
The result of this experience was to focus on me. To continue the work I started in Michigan, this blog needs to fade into the background for a while. I will return to it in September. But until then I will immerse myself in my passion for writing fiction. May you take this hint to not forget to care for your selves, to enjoy the summer, and to focus on something of value to your internal peace.
Cheryl B Thompson 