Bishop Peggy Johnson, a friend and retired bishop of the United Methodist Church, has been kind enough to provide a blog in honor of “National Coming Out Day”. Many thanks Peggy, for your friendship, wisdom, and many years of leadership. Happy Anniversary to you and Mary.
“National Coming Out Day” is an annual LGBT awareness event observed on October 11th each year to support anyone “coming out of the closet.” It was established in 1988 by LBGT activists who believed that to combat the negative sexual orientation and gender identity stereotypes, one must encounter real people who are a part of the LGBT community. They need to “come out” so folks can interact with them and learn they are regular people like everyone else.
It was not my spouse’s intention to “come out” as a trans woman on October 11, 2021. Neither of us made the connection about the timeliness of that day. I was a United Methodist bishop recently retired, and my spouse of 43 years was a United Methodist clergy, also retired. In preparation for her “coming out” she volunteered to be interviewed by the communications director of the Baltimore Washington Annual Conference where she held her clergy membership. During the interview she explained her journey of being born male but always feeling that she was female. She gave permission for the article to be posted on the conference website.
It went out on October 11th and immediately our phone started ringing and our email box lit up with many responses. Here is the article if you want to read it on the conference website:
https:/www.bwcumc.org/news-and-views/) In order to access this file you need to click “news feed” (on the right…pink box), then “archives” and then click “October 2021” and then keep scrolling down to the bottom and click the third section of October 2021 and find October 11, 2021 – “Johnson Shares Her Story of Transitioning to Trans Woman.”
Most of the responses we received on that day were positive, and we were both relieved and somewhat surprised. Some people told us that they too were in a transgender marriage with a husband transitioning to female. One person said that our “coming out” gave them the courage to do the same. This is not an easy thing.
Folks in general don’t understand the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. A person who is transgender is not on most peoples’ radar screen and they are not necessarily gay. The community is deeply closeted for good reasons, especially those people who attend religious services and face a backlash of “holy” rejection and ignorance.
The United Methodist Church, which Mary and I had been serving since 1980 was officially opposed to homosexual rights of marriage and ordination since 1972. Nothing was ever said about trans folks but some argued that a transitioning person was mentally ill and needed therapy to overcome it. One conservative blogger wrote: “Both Johnsons bizarrely defend Michael/Mary’s transition as a transgendered United Methodist minister as an affirmation of how God created him. But in fact, God created Michael Johnson as a male. So, his dramatically altering his persona, clothing and even body to “express” as female is actually a denial of how God created him.”
This same blogger criticized Mary and me for being in a same-gender marriage, which at the time was forbidden by our Book of Discipline (the United Methodist Church (UMC) law book). We could have been brought up on ecclesiastical charges and sent to a church trial and possibly defrocked.
Churches and faith communities are not all the same in their belief systems regarding social issues and over the years some have changed their official positions about homosexuality and gender identity. The United Methodist Church officially voted to remove the negative language and punitive laws against people who are homosexual at their General Conference in May of 2024.
If you attend a faith community that considers “coming out” as transgender is a sin, you are in a hard place. Some of my cisgender/trans couple friends have reported to me how they have been mistreated by their church when they came out. One couple was told never to come back to worship. Some have experienced a silent “cold shoulder.” Still some trans folks are encouraged to seek “reparative therapy” that coaxes a person into changing their mind about their identity. I believe this is a highly unethical practice that causes extreme harm and can lead to suicide.
Well-meaning conservative people use a literal interpretation of the Bible to prove their opposition to gender transition. Genesis 1: 27 states, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” For them it means a person is one or the other and can’t cross that line.
The Bible is used to marginalize other people, such as the “abomination” verses that describes homosexuality (Leviticus 18:22, 20:13), the silencing of women in the pulpit (I Corinthians 14:34), and support for the institution of slavery (I Corinthians 7:22).
If you are a trans person, it is important to find a faith community that affirms your orientation and gender identity and has a more nuanced interpretation of the Biblical or holy texts that help parse out the cultural realities of the writer in the time in which it was written. Living in the “closet” is not authentic and can lead to much personal fear, pain, and turmoil.
When my spouse came out to me privately in 2010, I was serving as an active bishop in the United Methodist Church, and we kept it quiet out of fear of controversy. At that time the denomination was in the throes of conflict over allowing the ordination and marriage of homosexual people. I attended many meetings with church leaders debating whether we should accept gay people and if we should just split the church over it.
Some were calling the church to become more open and affirming and to allow gay clergy and same sex weddings. Others believed it was contrary to Christian teaching. I tried to stay neutral and respectful during these debates, but it was personally challenging to hold my peace when someone would make unfounded and cruel transphobic remarks. I was also apprehensive when Mary went to a trans conference in another part of the state dressed as a woman. I prayed that no one would notice that this was my spouse.
There is hope for you if you find yourself in this situation. Trans folks and trans couples have ZOOM support groups and cisgendered spouses do as well. There are trans conferences and retreats across the country that also can offer support and information. Take advantage of these options. Read all you can about the journey of transitioning. Help others on the same road. Be that listening ear, that supportive friend. Find a faith community that supports you!!
At the end of the day the most important gift that anyone can receive from one another is the acceptance of a person’s authentic self. It is the Good News that people are yearning to have from their religious institutions, their family and their friends.
About Bishop Peggy Johnson: Bishop Johnson is a retired bishop of the United Methodist Church for 16 years. Prior to that she was a pastor in the Baltimore Washington Annual Conference where her primary appointment was to serve the Christ UMC of the Deaf. She and her spouse Mary live in Virginia in retirement and are enjoying grandchildren and volunteer ministry opportunities. Bishop Johnson is the author of The Ever-Expansive Spirit of God: For All Who Feel Left Out (www.actapublicattions.com) and available through Amazon. This book explains more fully the gender transition of her spouse and their journey out of the closet. All proceeds from the sale of the book are given to Christ UMC of the Deaf. She is happy to chat with anyone about her experiences. Her email address is bishoppink@gmail.com.
My next post will be in approximately four weeks. The tentative topic is “Pictures from the Past,” thoughts on how to manage photos taken of your spouse before they transitioned. Please don’t hesitate to email me (cheryl@cherylbthompson.com) with your thoughts on this topic. Your input will be kept anonymous and paraphrased if you so desire.
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